Anir's News Service

[I/O] Its YOUR Fault.

2011-11-21T10:12:00.000-08:00

The cool thing today is to blame India. Oh look at our poor unfortunate country - its full of useless politicians. Yeh kabhi change nahi hoga yaar. yeh India hai - iska koi kuch nahi kar sakta.

Traffic police khata hai

Doodh ka booth mein khata hai

Post office mein khate hai

Station master khata hai

It's so easy to give up hope when everything and everyone around does not seem to care at all. When the entire society has become so desensitized to corruption that it has become borderline acceptable. And when all this happens, we go back to the most Indian of traits - Indignation. Heck, even the word sounds like India Nation.

In the midst of all this indignation, lemme remind you that these people have not spontaneously manifested on planet Earth.

Heck, I'm gonna be in your face and say its YOUR damned fault.

I'm pretty sure that there is a 90% chance that you are actively concerned about the state of things here in India. And I'm pretty sure that 99% of you have not done a damned thing about it.

We moan and groan about politicians, but refuse to vote.

We complain and make jokes about the police, but prefer a Rs 100 bribe to a 200 buck fine.

We are indignant that people seem to be getting richer but unhappier, and at the same time encourage our children to become nothing more than walking, talking hard disks to be swallowed up by the IT industry.

We run behind salaries instead of our dreams.

The rot in Indian society starts at home. Parents encouraging children, just as their parents encouraged them, to "beat" the system. To use every trick in the book to get ahead in life and be "comfortable".

It was amazing to even see an ad for an Indian motorcycle that nicknamed the bike "Traffiic cutter" and showed a handsome hunk confidently weaving in and out of traffic while the traffic policeman looks on in awe, instead of throwing the smug hunk in jail!

It is just an indication that we as a society choose more to be a part of the problem instead of the solution. Today I was caught for driving without a helmet (It was stolen an hour before I got caught) and fined 100 bucks. I did not have a single rupee on me and faced the prospect of sparring with Mr Uncompromising, grumpy policeman named T K Puttaswamy. After a while, he took pity on me and told me to go home and bring him the fine. I reached home, picked up my ATM card, withdrew some cash and headed straight back to him.

When I stopped my bike, his eyes grew as big as ping pong balls and he gave me a huge grin. Mr Grumpy grinning? Whats wrong with the world?

"Y Y You came back!" he stammered.
"Yeah, so?"

That big grin flashed again and he told me he never expected to see me again. He then asked about my career and upon finding out what I do, offered to withdraw the fine. I refused - I'm accountable to my conscience as much as I am to the law of the land. He then reluctantly gave me my receipt and waved goodbye, saying "Sir, In hundreds of people, You're the only one I've seen this honest". I did not feel proud of myself - I felt ashamed of my countrymen.

The point is, we underestimate the impact of a single good decision/action. All too often we choose the easy option instead of the right one.

Leaders, officials, and everyone corrupt that society loves to point fingers at are born from that very same society. They are more a reflection of society than an exception of it. That is why the average Norwegian politician is less corrupt than the average Indian one. Its because the average Norwegian society is less corrupt than its Indian counterpart.

Cleaning up India is as easy as cleaning ourselves up.

Jai Gurudev!

Kallege!

2011-09-11T13:02:00.000-07:00

College glorious college - the one that movies promise are the best days of your life. The days that you'll remember forever. Promises of bikes, mini-skirts, brotherhood, craziness and, if there's time, education. I too, had great expectations from college life and today, 4 years after passing out of my UG college, fondly look back at those days. Learnt a lot, forgot even more but ultimately emerged a stronger, better human being. I have been exceptionally fortunate that life has consistently favoured me and made things go my way,

I have always had a fondness for youth and over the years have decided to dedicate my life to the full blossoming of human potential in youth today.

The bloody problem is, while the concept of colleges is great, the reality does not live up to the promise of what colleges can truly aspire to be. A place where minds are set free and encouraged towards a higher ideal (And having a heck of a lot of fun on the way) is ideally the role of a college.

And what do we see today?

A mindless hankering for marks (Which anyway the world outside does not care about- when was the last time someone asked you about your marks?), lecturers who dont identify with youth and care only about finishing their syllabus and running away, management which does not look students as human beings but as walking ATMs waiting to be squeezed, and parents driven by societal obligations instead of a sense of well-being of the wards.

Never has this situation been more starkly displayed than at the most prestigious of Indian institutions- the so called crown jewel of the education system - IIT.

I have had the oppourtunity to interact with many, many IITians and while there are many who are very inspiring, its startling how little care the greater majority of students, who suffer from a lack of confidence, social skills, any real goal in life (besides the next batch of exams) are given.

Its now become so bad, that this year has seen seven suicides in IIT Madras alone. 7 of the brightest minds in India decided to extinguish themselves. And what was most appalling was the response of the dean of students. This gentleman remarked that 'IIT has over a thousand students - 7 deaths are statistically insignificant". I'm sure he would think differently if it were someone related to him.

The real problem, as I see it, is twofold. One is stress - only a stressed out person can commit suicide and only a stressful individual would make an irresponsible, uncaring statement like the one above.

The other problem is a lack of belongingness - and this is a side effect of stress. When an individual does feel oneness with other people can such things happen.

The ridiculous emphasis on marks and academic excellence is partly responsible for the unfortunate state of affairs. And this has been taken to extremes in IIT Madras. I was surprised to learn that for the sake of encouraging competition, fostering concentration and one-minded focus in the minds of the students, each student has his/her own room. This nips social interaction in the bud and makes students mechanical, lonely, more prone to homesickness and leads to a melancholy atmosphere. Human beings by nature are social creaturesand our so called modern society seems to have very proudly turned their back on nature. My visit to the IIT hostel was punctuated not by youthful laughter, but a deafening silence.

The need of the hour is a holistic education - of not just youth but of society at large. Parents need to realize that marks dont make a man. Lecturers need to be the bigger men and take an interest in wards, educational institutions need to be more interested in fostering the student community towards growth instead of monetizing everything. And Students need to realise the extent of their responsibility.

And I'm glad I'm doing something about it.

JGD!

[I/O] BAKRA!

2008-10-08T08:44:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys!

I have a very sweet and innocent cousin called Ramya, who recently married Arnold Schwarzenegger and went off to US with him. ANd I thought I'd pull her leg a bit in Gmail chat. Enjoy the transcript!

rammuhari: oi hi

how r u

35 minutes

8:19 PM rammuhari: oi hi da

busy ya

me: ramm!

soukyama?

8:20 PM rammuhari: hmm n u

where r u

me: In boston

came for meeting

rammuhari: :D

hahahah

good1

in chennai

or blore

8:21 PM me: Boston

Kingston Ave

Hotel Hyatt

rammuhari: come on

me: where are you BTW?

I forgot

8:22 PM rammuhari: in boston quincy

quincy is the place

n in appt

me: You're in Boston!

rammuhari: hey u know hat i drew ur hero

me: OMG

I thought you were in Santa Clara

rammuhari: a pencil sketch

me: Can we meet today evening?

8:23 PM rammuhari: no no

hey come on

po da

me: dai

this is too much

Or tomorrow? I'm a lil jet lagged

8:24 PM rammuhari: hey swear

i cant belive this

me: Feeling sleepy now, even though its morning

8:25 PM Told ma not to tell you, wanted to give a surprise

rammuhari: ok what s the time now in boston

coooooool

me: 1055

rammuhari: hey po da

me: AM

8:26 PM rammuhari: is coudy or sunny

me: :-)

rammuhari: out side

whats ur room no

hahahhaaha

dai i m ur sis

u r making me bakara

me: one second, let me check

rammuhari: :)

8:27 PM me: these curtains are very thick

rammuhari: po da

me: its partly cloudy

rammuhari: hahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahaha

me: pretty cold tpo

rammuhari: then u surely u r chennai

me: Go outside and open your eyes

8:28 PM rammuhari: u do

windowsn doors r open

me: anyways, can we meet tomorrow?

Going to sleep now

rammuhari: yup sure

me: arrived at midnight

rammuhari: :)

oh ok

good nite

8:29 PM me: Room number 505, Level 5

Hyatt Residency

rammuhari: ok

me: gimme your address

I'll take a cab and come

rammuhari: ok sure

i dont belive u

but still i give u my address

8:30 PM hahahahhahahahaahahaha

me: the cabs here are pretty expensive

rammuhari: give me ur name of reservation

i m going to call

hahahhha

8:31 PM me: Anirvachan S Vasan, C/O CMO Axis Outsourcing solutions, To meet Cisco Marketing Office

8:32 PM rammuhari:

me: the hotel is near the airport

Hyatt Harborside at Boston's Logan International Airport
101 Harborside Drive,
Boston, Massachusetts, USA 02128
Tel: +1 617 568 1234 Fax: +1 617 567 8856

call and ask for room 505

8:33 PM rammuhari: ok

me: one sec, going to bathrrom

rammuhari: ok

hope i m not becoming bakara

7 minutes

8:41 PM rammuhari: hey u ther

hey i m really going to call

8:43 PM ani u there

i m going to call u

9 minutes

8:53 PM me: I'm back!

man these bathrooms are fantastivc

rammuhari: ok

shall i call u now

me: sure

man, awesome towels

rammuhari: ok

8:54 PM i m not able to prounce the name of the hotel

me: How can you live in such a cold place

Hyatt

hi ya tt

rammuhari: its not that cold da

me: Dai, I'm from chennai, its too cold for me

8:55 PM rammuhari: oh ok

wait i ll call u

8:56 PM hey i m not able to reach u

u only cal me

XXX_XXX_XXX_XXX

8:57 PM it says not a vaild no

8:58 PM me: Hello

rammuhari: yup

whats ur last name

8:59 PM me: Vasan

rammuhari: hey i tried

its not there

hey tell me the truth

me: these americans cannot pronounce my name

spell it

V A S A N

9:00 PM V for Victor

A for Alpha

S for Sera

rammuhari: i did

u call me

me: A for Alpha

N for November

rammuhari: callllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll me

me: dai

I'm half asleep

will call you in evening

rammuhari: call me to say hi

me: cant even type properly

9:01 PM rammuhari: no

now

hey po

i called

9:02 PM me: one sec, its not going through

rammuhari: @ what time u checked into hotel

me: gimme your number na

rammuhari: XXX_XXX_XXX_XXX

9:03 PM call me

me: not working da

Will try again

its not going through

9:04 PM your cell is busy?

or engaged?

dai, stop talking to hari

rammuhari: talking to ur appa

me: and talk to me

9:05 PM Oh, tell him I said hi

rammuhari: u call now

me: Tried da

9:06 PM rammuhari: hey hey

me: I'll call room service and tell them to fix thios

stupid phone

rammuhari: come i m stil not beliving

me: and now I cant call even room service

rammuhari: ok

me: forget it, I'll too sleepy

*I'm

rammuhari: ok did u get my no

me: see you later Rammu

yeah

rammuhari: y dont u come n stay here

me: Say hi to Hari

rammuhari: yup

9:07 PM me: I will, but the Office is paying for now

rammuhari: oh ok

me: I'll come and stay over the weekend. Meeting will be done by then

theek hai?

rammuhari: ok cool

last name of reservation

vasan is it

when did u come

9:08 PM to hotel

me: midnight

rammuhari: ok

9:09 PM me: bye rammu

too sleepy

Enjoy!

rammuhari: bbye

enjoy

9:12 PM me: Hehehehehe

rammuhari: pavi

me: BAKRA!

BAKRA BAKRA BAKRA

:-P

rammuhari: po da

me: :-D

9:13 PM rammuhari: hey po da

stupid

i told it to athe aslo

me: hehehe

rammuhari: i mean hari also

9:14 PM me: I'm tempted to put this up on my blog

rammuhari: shit

me: should I?

rammuhari: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo way

9:15 PM hey is athe there ask me the recepie for eggles cake

9:16 PM po da hari triedto that hotel too

[I/O] What will you regret?

2008-07-04T00:30:00.000-07:00

I found this very profound article on life. Its beautiful. A wake up call for most of us.
___________________________________________________________________

In your experience, what are the biggest regrets people have at the end of their careers? What do people wish they had learned sooner?

Marshall responds “

…..

My friend John Izzo is the author of a great new book-The Five Secrets You Must Discover before You Die. The book is based on 250 interviews he conducted with people from age 59-106 asking them to reflect back on their lives and careers. Though the people he interviewed ranged from a town barber to successful CEOs, the themes that emerged were clear. Here is some of what he learned about regrets and the things we wished we had learned sooner.

The first thing he learned is that people don’t regret their failures and that most people wished they had risked more. Most of us go through our careers fearing failure, but Izzo discovered that trying and failing is something we can deal with. The happiest people felt they had pursued their dreams and stretched themselves in their lives and careers. So we are more likely to regret having not tried for a dream than to have failed at it. This is particularly interesting because most of us think failure is about the worst thing that can happen to us but it turns out that not trying or playing it safe in our careers is what we should actually be worrying about.

….. each of us has an inner voice that is speaking to us. Those people whose inner voice was telling that they were sacrificing too much or not being true to themselves had deep regrets.

…..

The most important thing Izzo learned about the things we regret was the importance of being true to self. Many of those, I’ve interviewed looked back and felt they were too influenced by others’ opinions. They told me how absolutely critical it is to follow your own definition of success. Don’t take that promotion or job because someone tells you it’s the natural next step. Make to ask yourself if that is the step you want to take.

A final lesson from these people is that status and power aren’t what you will remember as you look back. Rather, most people said it was the things they gave and the people they mentored that give them satisfaction. The town barber put it plainly: “The money in your wallet is not the definition of your success but how many lives you touched.” Turns out that is one thing the barbers and the CEO’s agreed on.
________________________________________________________________

This is what life is all about. Having the courage to take the path less taken and risking. Heck, whats the fun in life without risk? Cheers!

[O/I] Slighting Sam

2008-07-01T21:17:00.000-07:00

Sam Manekshaw, One of India's greatest soldiers, has finally hung up his boots. There has been many books written about this amazing soldier, who exemplifies the old saying "A soldier is an officer and a Gentleman" But guess our babus, as reliable as ever, have other plans. Here is the Editorial of the Daily Pioneer.

Adding insult to injury, the Government has now put forward the dubious claim that the Prime Minister, the Defence Minister and three services chiefs missed the funeral of Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw because he did not figure in the warrant of precedence. Apparently the Field Marshal -- a five-star General rank that has its equivalents in the Navy and the Air Force -- does not figure in the warrant of precedence. Hence, the Government argues, there was no automatic declaration of a state funeral; this was granted, almost as if it were charity, by the Prime Minister upon the request of the Defence Minister. Hence also no lowering of the national flag, no travel plans for senior officials to give Sam Bahadur, as India's best-known modern warrior was known, the last salute. What this facile reasoning fails to explain is how a Union Minister, the then Chief Minister of Karnataka and the three service chiefs made it to Field Marshal KM Cariappa's funeral in 1993. Not every well-known Indian figures in the warrant of precedence. There are many private citizens -- business barons, civil society leaders, scholars and cultural artistes -- whose death merits national mourning and tribute from the Indian state. This comes not from a narrow, legalistic interpretation of the person's official designation -- and place, if any, in the warrant of precedence -- but from sensitivity of the Government and the political class. Perhaps it is a question of priorities. When Baba Amte, great man as he was, died earlier this year, he was given a state funeral, with two Union Cabinet Ministers in attendance. Did he find mention in the warrant of precedence?

A political establishment is, in the end, a reflection of the cherished hopes and beliefs of its people. In insulting Sam Manekshaw and deciding he did not merit a suitable farewell -- never mind what the silly rule-books may have said -- the Government and the political leadership have let down India. The warrant of precedence is a bureaucratic roster, to decide who should sit or be introduced before whom at public functions where two or more VIPs are present. It cannot become the arbiter of how the nation must treat its heroes. It defies reason why, instead of taking resort to monumentally silly excuses, the Government cannot simply admit it messed up, and apologise to the memory of Sam Manekshaw, to his family and to the people. There is no divine injunction that holds that the Government must never say sorry.

While the UPA Government must shoulder responsibility for this colossal act of boorishness, the Opposition cannot escape censure. The BJP prides itself for being a nationalist party, alive to the security challenges and the strategic concerns of India. Yet, it did not deem it fit to depute even one senior functionary to Sam Manekshaw's funeral. At a time when the Indian Army is facing a serious scarcity of officers, when its pay and remuneration regime is being perceived as appallingly poor in comparison to competitive white collar professions, the manner in which politicians have treated Sam Manekshaw will not help win new recruits. Mid-ranking or even potential officers cannot be blamed for wondering, 'If they can do this to India's most celebrated General, what can't they do to me?'

[LC] Awesome Foursome

2008-05-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

The other day me and my gang of close pals went out (After a long time), and saw Iron Man. Had a great time and later, for the heck of it, went to Landmark. Here we saw this hideously expensive little shack which offered portraits for a ridiculous 150 bucks each. Man, the profits the guy must be making would make him the next Ambani... he offered B&W portraits, Watercolour theme, oilcolour, sepia ad infinatum. The photo came off very, very well too, check it out!

From Left, Sam, Arun, Mouli and Me. All Hail the Awesome Foursome!

Hehe, a lil bit of trivia..All of us were wearing something that reflected our passion. Sam had a Black Sabbath T shirt, Arun had a Linux Bag with the caption " The Geek shall inherit the earth", I wore a Sivaji Tee (All Hail THALAIVA) and Mouli wore a maroon Tee.. figure out that one on your own!

[I/O] Lessons from nature

2008-05-07T00:19:00.000-07:00

Hello there mates, been waaay too long eh? Lots of very exciting things going on in my life now. Stay tuned for more updates on that, in good time :-)

I went into one of my deep thinking sessions the other day, and was thinking about crazy deep stuff... about nature, about the way things are with the world, and about how everything created by it just perfect. just for an example, take the most basic of human institutions, marriage and relationships. Go ahead, look at it. see how amazingly perfect it? Forget everything about today's relationships, and marvel at its beauty and symmetry.

It is a proven fact that men and women are different. We are hardwired differently, think differently, have different ideas of what is important and what is not, and how we deal with situations. There have been many cases when people have slapped their heads in frustration, saying "I dont understand her/him! How the heck can she/he do a thing like that? I'd never have done that if I were in that situation". Well mate, you're different! You're not friggin clones, are ya?

Life has such beautiful lessons for us, if only we'd open our eyes to it. For example, we all know that marriages are a lovely thing, but how many of us have thought deeply about the mechanics of marriage? heck, most people aren't as jobless as me anyways...

Men and women are so different, and this is what makes a marriage a very fascinating topic to think about.

Men have the opportunity to learn that emotions and feelings do matter. And women, on the other hand, have the opportunity to learn that sometimes it is essential to separate the event from the associated emotion. This brings clarity and calmness of the mind.

Men learn to appreciate the value of a conversation and of sharing feelings, and the deeper bonding it creates. Women learn the value of silence, and that sometimes saying nothing is better than saying anything at all.

Men appreciate listening to their hearts, and women appreciate the use of the head.

Men listen that "Hey, maybe grooming isnt such a bad thing after all, and maybe I shouldn't bite my nails and scratch my butt so often, even though its so much fun" and Women learn "Hey, maybe looks aren't all that important... what matters is the person. Both in my case and in the case of my partner"

Men begin to appreciate the value of subtlety, and women learn the value of frank, straight talk.

Men begin to appreciate taking time off for themselves, and women begin to appreciate the value of punctuality and time.

Men learn patience, and, guess what? Women learn patience too! :-D

I've seen that relationships end up unsuccessfully because instead of appreciating difference, people end up fighting them. Instead of learning and growing together, people tend to force the partner to think like them. This naturally leads to tension and lots of frustration in the long run. There is so much that we can learn from each other, all it needs is an open mind and patience. After all, Nature would'nt have put us together if she didn't want us to be together :-)

I found this rather beautiful/funny video too, Enjoy!

[I/O] Bushisms

2007-08-02T11:35:00.000-07:00

Here you go, top ten Bush Quotes... enjoy!

1. "I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport." - Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001

2. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." - Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004

3. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." - Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

4. "There's no doubt in my mind that we should allow the world worst leaders to hold America hostage, to threaten our peace, to threaten our friends and allies with the world's worst weapons." - South Bend, Indiana, Sept. 5, 2002

5. "There's an old...saying in Tennessee...I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee that says Fool me once...(3 second pause)... Shame on...(4 second pause)...Shame on you....(6 second pause)...Fool me...Can't get fooled again." - Nashville, Tennessee, Sept. 17, 2002

6. "See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction." - Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 3, 2003

7. "The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the -- the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice." - Washington, D.C., Oct. 27, 2003

8. "I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep on the soil of a friend." - on visiting Denmark, Washington D.C., June 29, 2005

9. "Wow! Brazil is big." after being shown a map of Brazil by Brazilian president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, Brasilia, Brazil, Nov. 6, 2005

10. A TIE BETWEEN:
"Rarely is the question asked, 'Is our children learning'?" - Florence, S.C. Jan 11 2000
"The illiteracy level of our children are appalling." - Washington, D.C., Jan. 23, 2004

[I/O] The Humbler

2007-07-27T09:38:00.000-07:00

Once in a while, I'll stumble across something or the other on the net that made of such pure ownage that it just blows the mind. Heres one.

[I/O] 100 Reasons why its better to be a Guy.

2007-07-25T05:43:00.000-07:00

Ah, Net... what other gems do you have in store for us?

____________________________________________________________________

100 Reasons It's Better to Be a Guy

1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3. You know stuff about tanks.
4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
5. Monday Nite Football.
6. You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
8. You can open all your own jars.
9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
10. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
11. When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
13. All your orgasms are real.
14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
17. You understand why Stripes is funny.
18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
19. Your last name stays put.
20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
22. You can kill your own food.
23. The garage is all yours.
24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
27. You never have to clean the toilet.
28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
33. The National College Cheerleading Championship
34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
35. You don't have to shave below your neck.
36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.
37. If your 34 and single nobody notices.
38. You can write your name in the snow.
39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
40. Everything on your face stays its original color.
41. Chocolate is just another snack.
42. You can be president.
43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
44. Flowers fix everything.
45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
51. Foreplay is optional.
52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
59. You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
60. The world is your urinal.
61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
63. Hot wax never comes near you pubic area.
64. One mood, all the time.
65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.
67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
69. Same work....more pay.
70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
77. The remote is yours and yours alone.
78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
79. ESPN SportsCenter.
80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed.
86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*#k it!"
88. If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.
90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.
92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"
99. Baywatch
100. There is always a game on somewhere.

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Dil Maange more?

[I/O] If Pro is Opposite of Con, what's Opposite of Progress?

2007-07-20T06:57:00.000-07:00

Hello Readers! (If there are any...)

Was in a political mood, and coincidentally recieved this forward. A hard hitting article from Mr Suhel Seth (Kudos mate!). These damned politicians think they can get away with anything...damn them!

Cheers!

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A nation that won’t respect Pratibha

Suhel Seth

The fact that a country of more than a billion people — with some bright people — couldn’t find anyone to be its President is a telling shame on the manner in which our politics is run. The campaign has been scurrilous. In any other country, Pratibha Patil would have withdrawn, but in our country she is busy jetting around meeting chief ministers and rustling up votes in the states, which again is abominable.

The truth of the matter is that the people really don’t matter. You can run campaigns on television and print, but we don’t have human beings running the politics of the country. They are thick-skinned hippos. Nothing seems to wash with them. You can be the most corrupt politician in the country, but you will win elections and be feted all over again.

Last month, Mayawati was the cynosure of all eyes. She then went on to declare assets worth Rs 52 crores, and this poor woman must now command the respect of all and sundry. It is sad that the government, which actually is of the people, takes the people so lightly. Just see how quiet the CBI has suddenly gone on Mayawati for the Taj Corridor case. It is this brazenness that is worrying and the reasons for this are many.

The principal reason is we tout our democracy too much. My question is, of what use is this democracy if people don’t matter? Of what use are elections when you know you have to elect crooks since the choice is between a known crook and an unknown one? Of what use is this democracy when the likes of Sanjeev Nanda can cock a snook at the judicial system and nothing happens? Of what use is an independent judiciary when lawyers sell themselves in order to placate the rich? Of what use is this so-called people’s Parliament if it never functions and where the Union Budget is passed without a debate? Of what use is a law and order force which can’t arrest criminals, and who instead attend Cabinet meetings?

Obviously, we are creating two kinds of talent pools: one pool is people like us who have to work to make a living and ensure we are above the law just so that the system doesn’t get back at us for what we write or say, and then there’s the enduring tragedy of corruption. Today, when the world is talking of transparency and talking about corporate governance, we have examples of IPOs which have decimated the rights of minority shareholders going through, only so that their promoters and their ilk can now find themselves on rich lists. I find the whole thing staggeringly distasteful, but the truth of the matter is that dissent itself is in a minority, and that is the first sign of a fraying democracy. Any democracy where the voice of the people is silenced and instead usurped by those we elect is a democracy in trouble.

We are in serious trouble in the three basic Ps. We have no primary health to talk of; no primary education worthy of replication (apart from the Indian School of Business of course which many consultant-types believe is a replacement for primary education), and no population plan in place; and what we are seeking is to go out and conquer the world. And just about every political party is the same. Mamata Banerjee is no different. Jayalalithaa was as crooked as perhaps her successor is, but we just can’t say or more importantly, do anything about it. There was a time when you could actually take some critical matters to court, but then when the courts themselves question public interest litigation as private interest litigation, you know you have a problem.

The other day I was horrified to see a judge in a white Toyota car, bearing a Chandigarh number plate, driving on the streets of Delhi with a cavalcade of cars, blaring sirens, police jeeps, red lights and that too on a Sunday. He was apparently a senior judge. I wish I knew his name so that we could publish it and shame him. People like him are dragging down the fair name of the judiciary. Of what use is law if the enforcers are going to be law-breakers?

Pratibha Patil is only symptomatic of the malaise that afflicts our democracy. She is not the problem per se. The problem is our own mental and physical lethargy, our tolerance levels and our reluctance to shake the system by its bootstraps. In effect, we the people now live in an India that is by us, of us, but rarely for us. It is a disaster that this week our country will have a President no one wants foisted on us. Sometimes I think even Pratibha Patil doesn’t want to be President. What is galling is not that we’ll have a President no one respects. In this area, we have got quite used to the realities of our politics. I mean which sane man would want Arjun Singh as the man responsible for educating Indians when he can barely open his eyes, leave alone his mind?

--------------------------

"The problem is our own mental and physical lethargy, our tolerance levels and our reluctance to shake the system by its bootstraps. In effect, we the people now live in an India that is by us, of us, but rarely for us."

Truer words have not been spoken.

Wait for the next post.. you'll like it :-)

[I/O] Stress Buster

2007-07-14T12:46:00.000-07:00

If you're stressed.... give yourself a break. I found this beautiful stress buster on the net.. enjoy!

[I/O] Live, Dont Exist

2007-07-06T20:59:00.000-07:00

Found this lovely message during stumbling... enjoy!
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"The proper function of man is to live - not to exist." -- Jack London

Too often we go through life on autopilot, going through the motions and having each day pass like the one before it.

That's fine, and comfortable, until you have gone through another year without having done anything, without having really lived life.

That's fine, until you have reached old age and look back on life with regrets.

That's fine, until you see your kids go off to college and realize that you missed their childhoods.

It's not fine. If you want to truly live life, to really experience it, to enjoy it to the fullest, instead of barely scraping by and only living a life of existence, then you need to find ways to break free from the mold and drink from life.

What follows is just a list of ideas, obvious ones mostly that you could have thought of yourself, but that I hope are useful reminders. We all need reminders sometimes. If you find this useful, print it out, and start using it. Today.

1. Love. Perhaps the most important. Fall in love, if you aren't already. If you have, fall in love with your partner all over again. Abandon caution and let your heart be broken. Or love family members, friends, anyone -- it doesn't have to be romantic love. Love all of humanity, one person at a time.

2. Get outside. Don't let yourself be shut indoors. Go out when it's raining. Walk on the beach. Hike through the woods. Swim in a freezing lake. Bask in the sun. Play sports, or walk barefoot through grass. Pay close attention to nature.

3. Savor food. Don't just eat your food, but really enjoy it. Feel the texture, the bursts of flavors. Savor every bite. If you limit your intake of sweets, it will make the small treats you give yourself (berries or dark chocolate are my favorites) even more enjoyable. And when you do have them, really, really savor them. Slowly.

4. Create a morning ritual. Wake early and greet the day. Watch the sun rise. Out loud, tell yourself that you will not waste this day, which is a gift. You will be compassionate to your fellow human beings, and live every moment to its fullest. Stretch or meditate or exercise as part of your ritual. Enjoy some coffee.

5. Take chances. We often live our lives too cautiously, worried about what might go wrong. Be bold, risk it all. Quit your job and go to business for yourself (plan it out first!), or go up to that girl you've liked for a long time and ask her out. What do you have to lose?

6. Follow excitement. Try to find the things in life that excite you, and then go after them. Make life one exciting adventure after another (with perhaps some quiet times in between).

7. Find your passion. Similar to the above tip, this one asks you to find your calling. Make your living by doing the thing you love to do. First, think about what you really love to do. There may be many things. Find out how you can make a living doing it. It may be difficult, but you only live once.

8. Get out of your cubicle. Do you sit all day in front of computer, shuffling papers and taking phone calls and chatting on the Internet? Don't waste your days like this. Break free from the cubicle environment, and do your work on a laptop, in a coffee shop, or on a boat, or in a log cabin. This may require a change of jobs, or becoming a freelancer. It's worth it.

9. Turn off the TV. How many hours will we waste away in front of the boob tube? How many hours do we have to live? Do the math, then unplug the TV. Only plug it back in when you have a DVD of a movie you love. Otherwise, keep it off and find other stuff to do. Don't know what to do? Read further.

10. Pull away from Internet. You're reading something on the Internet right now. And, with the exception of this article, it is just more wasting away of your precious time. You cannot get these minutes back. Unplug the Internet, then get out of your office or house. Right now! And go and do something.

11. Travel. Sure, you want to travel some day. When you have vacation time, or when you're older. Well, what are you waiting for? Find a way to take a trip, if not this month, then sometime soon. You may need to sell your car or stop your cable bill and stop eating out to do it, but make it happen. You are too young to not see the world. If need be, find a way to make a living by freelancing, then work while you travel. Only work an hour or two a day. Don't check email but once a week. Then use the rest of the time to see the world.

12. Rediscover what's important. Take an hour and make a list of everything that's important to you. Add to it everything that you want to do in life. Now cut that list down to 4-5 things. Just the most important things in your life. This is your core list. This is what matters. Focus your life on these things. Make time for them.

13. Eliminate everything else. What's going on in your life that's not on that short list? All that stuff is wasting your time, pulling your attention from what's important. As much as possible, simplify your life by eliminating the stuff that's not on your short list, or minimizing it.

14. Exercise. Get off the couch and go for a walk. Eventually try running. Or do some push ups and crunches. Or swim or bike or row. Or go for a hike. Whatever you do, get active, and you'll love it. And life will be more alive.

15. Be positive. Learn to recognize the negative thoughts you have. These are the self-doubts, the criticisms of others, the complaints, the reasons you can't do something. Then stop yourself when you have these thoughts, and replace them with positive thoughts. Solutions. You can do this!

16. Open your heart. Is your heart a closed bundle of scar tissue? Learn to open it, have it ready to receive love, to give love unconditionally. If you have a problem with this, talk to someone about it. And practice makes perfect.

17. Kiss in the rain. Seize the moment and be romantic. Raining outside? Grab your lover and give her a passionate kiss. Driving home? Stop the car and pick some wildflowers. Send her a love note. Dress sexy for him.

18. Face your fears. What are you most afraid of? What is holding you back? Whatever it is, recognize it, and face it. Do what you are most afraid of. Afraid of heights? Go to the tallest building, and look down over the edge. Only by facing our fears can we be free of them.

19. When you suffer, suffer. Life isn't all about fun and games. Suffering is an inevitable part of life. We lose our jobs. We lose our lovers. We lose our pets. We get physically injured or sick. A loved one becomes sick. A parent dies. Learn to feel the pain intensely, and really grieve. This is a part of life -- really feel the pain. And when you're done, move on, and find joy.

20. Slow down. Life moves along at such a rapid pace these days. It's not healthy, and it's not conducive to living. Practice doing everything slowly -- everything, from eating to walking to driving to working to reading. Enjoy what you do. Learn to move at a snail's pace.

21. Touch humanity. Get out of your house and manicured neighborhoods, and find those who live in worse conditions. Meet them, talk to them, understand them. Live among them. Be one of them. Give up your materialistic lifestyle.

22. Volunteer. Help at homeless soup kitchens. Learn compassion, and learn to help ease the suffering of others. Help the sick, those with disabilities, those who are dying.

23. Play with children. Children, more than anyone else, know how to live. They experience everything in the moment, fully. When they get hurt, they really cry. When they play, they really have fun. Learn from them, instead of thinking you know so much more than them. Play with them, and learn to be joyful like them.

24. Talk to old people. There is no one wiser, more experienced, more learned, than those who have lived through life. They can tell you amazing stories. Give you advice on making a marriage last or staying out of debt. Tell you about their regrets, so you can learn from them and avoid the same mistakes. They are the wisdom of our society -- take advantage of their existence while they're still around.

25. Learn new skills. Constantly improve yourself instead of standing still -- not because you're so imperfect now, but because it is gratifying and satisfying. You should accept yourself as you are, and learn to love who you are, but still try to improve -- if only because the process of improvement is life itself.

26. Find spirituality. For some, this means finding God or Jesus or Allah or Buddha. For others, this means becoming in tune with the spirits of our ancestors, or with nature. For still others, this just means an inner energy. Whatever spirituality means for you, rediscover it, and its power.

27. Take mini-retirements. Don't leave the joy of retirement until you are too old to enjoy it. Do it now, while you're young. It makes working that much more worth it. Find ways to take a year off every few years. Save up, sell your home, your possessions, and travel. Live simply, but live, without having to work. Enjoy life, then go back to work and save up enough money to do it again in a couple of years.

28. Do nothing. Despite the tip above that we should find excitement, there is value in doing nothing as well. Not doing nothing as in reading, or taking a nap, or watching TV, or meditating. Doing nothing as in sitting there, doing nothing. Just learning to be still, in silence, to hear our inner voice, to be in tune with life. Do this daily if possible.

29. Stop playing video games. They might be fun, but they can take up way too much time. If you spend a lot of time playing online games, or computer solitaire, or Wii or Gameboy or whatever, consider going a week without it. Then find something else to do, outside.

30. Watch sunsets, daily. One of the most beautiful times of day. Make it a daily ritual to find a good spot to watch the sunset, perhaps having a light dinner while you do so.

31. Stop reading magazines. They're basically crap. And they waste your time and money. Cancel your subscriptions and walk past them at the news stands. If you have to read something, read a trashy novel or even better, read Dumb Little Man once a day and be done.

32. Break out from ruts. Do you do things the same way every day? Change it up. Try something new. Take a different route to work. Start your day out differently. Approach work from a new angle. Look at things from new perspectives.

33. Stop watching the news. It's depressing and useless. If you're a news junky, this may be difficult. I haven't watch TV news or read a newspaper regularly in about two years. It hasn't hurt me a bit. Anything important, my mom tells me about.

34. Laugh till you cry. Laughing is one of the best ways to live. Tell jokes and laugh your head off. Watch an awesome comedy. Learn to laugh at anything. Roll on the ground laughing. You'll love it.

35. Lose control. Not only control over yourself, but control over others. It's a bad habit to try to control others -- it will only lead to stress and unhappiness for yourself and those you try to control. Let others live, and live for yourself. And lose control of yourself now and then too.

36. Cry. Men, especially, tend to hold in our tears, but crying is an amazing release. Cry at sad movies. Cry at a funeral. Cry when you are hurt, or when somebody you love is hurt. It releases these emotions and allows us to cleanse ourselves.

37. Make an awesome dessert. I like to make warm, soft chocolate cake. But even berries dipped in chocolate, or crepes with ice cream and fruit, or fresh apple pie, or homemade chocolate chip cookies or brownies, are great. This isn't an every day thing, but an occasional treat thing. But it's wonderful.

38. Try something new, every week. Ask yourself: "What new thing shall I try this week?" Then be sure to do it. You don't have to learn a new language in one week, but seek new experiences. Give it a try. You might decide you want to keep it in your life.

39. Be in the moment. Instead of thinking about things you need to do, or things that have happened to you, or worrying or planning or regretting, think about what you are doing, right now. What is around you? What smells and sounds and sights and feelings are you experiencing? Learn to do this as much as possible through meditation, but also through bringing your focus back to the present as much as you can in everything you do.

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Pretty deep huh?

[I/O] Dravida Munnetra Korruptangal

2007-06-23T07:41:00.000-07:00

Dear Mr Karunanidhi,

Congratulations! You have come into power, promising people Free land(At Government cost), TVs(At government cost, again) and rice at 2 Rupees a kilo. You promise freebies, when a decent leader will promise good governance, but then.. governence has never been important to you, has it?

You give yourself titles like Kalaignar, and celebrate your awesomeness by hoarding up pictures of yourself laughing like a jackass all over town... at Government expense. I wonder how many kilometers of roads might have been set up if you had spared a thought towards development.

You demolish a political opponent's headquaters for no legitimate reason, and give instructions to hush up the affair, so that no one can even know it happened. You dont encourage healthy debates... its your way or the highway.

Your daughter is caught on camera, inciting riots outside the magazine HQ that "insulted" your son. Tell me Mr Karunanidhi, does the concept of Freedom of expression, freedom of speech, and freedom of press apply to you? guess not. And what about justice? Your daughter is still free, and no one even pressed charges against her. Now she wants to ba a Rajya Sabha MP... speaking of which....

Your Party secretary goes on record saying " Isnt the fact that she is the daughter of a man who has dedicated his life to Tamil Nadu and the tamil people enoght to grant her membership of the Rajya Sabha?" Well done, Mr Party Secretary. By that illuminated idea, you have effectively distanced your party from anyone with a semblance of sanity. Whatever happened to the idea of merit? Our constitution says that everyone is equal... guess Mr Karunanidhi's Daughter is more equal than others... By that same damming concept, why dont you nominate Mr Azhagiri for Prime Minister? Seeing as he's Mr Karunanidhi's son, as well as charged in a murder case, would make him doubly suited to this noble seat. I'm sure Mr Azhagiri would take us to the heights of glory under his munificent leadership.

You spend crores of Government money for your mega birthday party, and organise a huge function celebrating 50 years of you being a legislature. Couldn't think of any other way to spend money besides celebrating yourself, right?

Your only goal is power. Why else would you not back Kalam? why else have you groomed your children into so called leaders when there are more capable people out there?

You make a commendable decision by introducing compulsory helmets. And then, when my faith in humanity was returning, you cancel it. Tell me Mr Karunanidhi, what kind of alcoholic beverage have you been drinking that makes you choose public convenience over lives of your own people? What the hell is more important? That a dude loses some hair and is under some discomfort for a few minutes a day, or that his two children lose their father, that a lady loses her husband, and that aged couple lose their only son?

You kick out Dayanidhi Maran, who was the only person in your government doing an exlemplary job.. he introduced cheap broadband. Then he boosted up that speed to a blazing 2MBPs, then he slashed STD/ISD charges and was in the process of giving free roaming... when ol Iron Ass kicked him out. I guess the amount of development done by Dayanidhi hurt Iron Ass's conscience. The man bought professionalism into Indian politics, and this man was given the boot by Karunanidhi.

Well Done Mr Karunanidhi, You have successfully hidden from your fanatical supporters your true guise... you are no more than an underworld don, who has terrorised the state and now control it with an wrinkled, iron fist.

No, you DONT get my vote.

Your not-so-well-wisher,
Anir

For more info, goto http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M._Karunanidhi

P. S

In case I suddenly dissappear, you know who to blame. :-P

[I/O] The Elaine Syndrome

2007-06-09T23:04:00.000-07:00

I got this pretty damned awesome forward from the wonderful, wonderful thing called the internet. Man, the net rocks so hard, Its surely proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy (Got that from the net too). On to the Elaine Syndrome.

Dear Women,

We guys are very simple, easy creatures. So please do not try to figure us out. The thing that screws up most relationships is that most women are afflicted by what I've termed as "The Elaine Syndrome" This consists of analysing (usually wrongly) the things we guys do. We dont take life seriously (though sometimes I do) and all the analysing women do just falls flat. It may be eerily accurate when analysing another girl, but NOT us ordinary guys.

This forward illustrates The Elaine Syndrome. Enjoy!

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Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine.

He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud:

"Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?" And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward ... I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to
keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: ... so that means it was... let's see.... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means ... lemme check the odometer ... Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed-even before I sensed it-that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a darn garbage
truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.

And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain
because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a darn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their ....

"Roger," Elaine says aloud.
"What?" says Roger, startled.
"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears.
"Maybe I should never have ... Oh my, I feel so ..." (She breaksdown, sobbing.)
"What?" says Roger.
"I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs.
"I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse." "There's no horse?" says Roger.
"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says.
"No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
"It's just that ... It's that I ... I need some time," Elaine says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
"Yes," he says. (Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)
"Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says.
"What way?" says Roger.
"That way about time," says Elaine.
"Oh," says Roger. "Yes."
(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
"Thank you, Roger," she says.
"Thank you,"says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that
something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression,
and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?"

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I've seen in discovery channel that women are hardwired in their brain to instinctively know what people want, and how they feel. Thats why they seem to anticipate other people's needs and emotions. Apparenly evolution thought it fit to deny this ability to men. Thats why we guys don't get hints, and most of the time don't know what women are feeling, unless its women tell them directly. As a general rule of the thumb, for a guy, nothing is wrong unless and until his partner says it is. Of course, there are some uncannily perceptive guys out there who'll read your mind, but hell, I'm not one of em. Do do us a favour and be extremely clear on things, else you've a good chance of ending up as Elaine, unless you're already in that frame of mind permanently. Good luck on that :-)

[I/O] Women- Part Rant, Part Rave

2007-05-17T19:50:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER: If you're a woman, and reading this, Know that my observations are VERY general. DO NOT get pissed with me if you or your gang of friends are not at all like what I've described. REPEAT. DO NOT get pissed with me. AND DO NOT take any of this personally. If you're a female friend of mine, know that I like you and that's why I'm still in contact with you. IF YOU DO GET PISSED, Its really you're own fault. But anyways, if it offends you, my apologies.I'm so very sorray! DO NOT Label me a MCP without reading the ENTIRE blog. Comeon.. I love women. Look up "Scorpio" in Wikipedia. See? I'm an okay guy! Really.

Tia Dalma: 'Tis said that Davy Jones was a man of the sea. A great sailor. Until he ran afoul of that which vexes all men.
William Turner: What vexes all men?
Tia Dalma: What, indeed....
Gibbs: The sea?
Pintel: Sums?
Ragetti: The dichotomy of good and evil?
[Everyone stares at Ragetti.]
Jack Sparrow: A woman.

From Pirates Of The Caribbean- Dead Man's Chest

Heh, Strange how even dull Ragetti got it right....

Man, lemme tell you this... women are simultaneously the source of our greatest strength and greatest weakness. Sam got it bang on when he said "dude, cant live with them, cant live without them" Seriously... what is it about them that causes so much anguish, but still attracts us? heh.. like a moth to a flame.

I've noticed certain "character labels" (sorry, its early morning, left my vocabulary in the bathroom...) in women. Allow me to elaborate.

There' this strange phenomenon called MOODS (no, not the contraceptive mate). Guys, you'd know what I'm talking about na? one moment you're her bestest-special-cutest-etc-etc-friend, and suddenly she's treating you like you're a regular sex-offender... I mean, WTF? A female friend I met recently had the candor to say "You cant expect me to be goody-goody to you all the time, same mood all the time is not possible" My Strong instinct to tell her to go to hell was negated by my appreciation for her frankness.

Well, Women are complicated, evident by this rather accurate diagram..

And they seem to be very proud indeed of that fact... " No one can understand me! No one can understand my feelings" and she looks happier and happier by just saying that...I'm like Adi Paavi, get a grip! Seems like the more people that dont understand you, the happier you are anyways... God forbid if there's suddenly a lack of things to complain about...

Which brings me to the next thing... CONTENTMENT. I'll let the master, Chris Rock, Elaborate.

Well, even if its stand up comedy, and absurdly exaggerated, he's got so many points Bang-On. Man, I love that guy!

Really women, cant you just be happy and content? is it really so darn difficult? Do you just HAVE to find out everything that's wrong in your perfect world and inflict hapless guys with stories that go on and on about how terrible everything is and how you're feeling all moody and stuff... Easy solution, just stop. You'll feel better.Understand that life is imperfect, and sometimes unfair.. we just gotta do our best against it.

The next point is being JUDGEMENTAL . Ever wondered why we guys make friends that last a long time? its coz we're lax about a ton of things. An average guy really wouldn't care if his mate did something wrong. Its all ok, coz we know deep down we're prolly likely to make the same mistake anyways, so why muck up things? Lets go drown in Lime-Mint Cooler or Carrot Juice, and all will be fine in the world.Or, in more severe cases, a couple of fists to the stomach solves everything. I had a pal, Gem, in school with whom I fought (I mean serious fighting, with cursing and punching.. like the barbarian I am) like every week. But after that, we'd game together, and man had so many fun times. I still kinda miss him and our days....the fighting just made it all the more memorable.

But, man o man, when a guy/girl makes a mistake when it concerns a female pal... All hell breaks loose. Angry words, temper tantrums, lots of hissing and tons of recriminations. Dude, Chill... Why screw up a beautiful friendship/relationship for a trivial matter? I mean, come on... cant you just forgive and forget?

Which brings me to the most intriguing aspect.. their AMAZING and IRRITATING MEMORY. Mother of god mate.. he res a typical conversation..

Girl: Hey, Anir! How're You? its been soooo long

Anir: Hey! How're you doing mate? (Mentally searches for who this female is)

Girl: Do you remember.....etc etc etc

Anir: Yeah (beginning to look embarrassed)

Girl: and etc etc etc

Anir: (Now completely clueless)

Girl(in hurt voice): You don't remember me do you?

well, what can I say at this point? I'm pretty much owned... and I'll be reminded week after week how I dont care for friends and how bad my memory is. The latter I can accept. The former? WTF!

To be honest, I'm awed by the small details they remember.... man its amazing! How'd you do that?

Women, please understand that you remember waaay more then we ever can.(unless, for me, the subject happens to be either Biking or Gaming). There's nothing you can do about it, and unfortunately, nothing we can do about it either. Do be more understanding of that... else it'll lead to more heat between you and your male pals... and not of the good variety.

Then theres the COMPLICATION of things. I say this coz it hurts us that you turn something so simple into the equivalent of scaling the Everest naked... Relax.. life is easy, you're the one complicating it.

For example, I, for the heck of it, suggested a female pal of mine to join her Brother's band, coz I like her voice. You'd think it were easy enough, but man o man.... she went on and on about how its not so easy, and how it is so difficult to sing, and how her brother will never listen to her...dude, will you just give it a try? No harm giving it a shot na? But Oh no.. it needs to be complicated and convoluted beyond all limits of human imagination...

I can go on and on... but I'll save it for later... need to rant to my friends too, dont I? :-P

But lemme tell you something, a woman in true love is worth every single bit of all the trouble she gives you. Of course, she'll take absurdly long to truly love you, but then, thats how she is.

After all this, you'd prolly ask, Why do you guys go behind girls? well, besides the Biological programming (Hey, I see Discovery Channel you know... it says we are programmed to be in pursuit of love) There are many things that horribly attracts us to Venusians..

One thing I majorly admire in women is their ability to take all the shit life throws on them. man...all they need to do is cry, hug, and talk about it, and they'll be as right as rain, ready for another round of life's shit. They're made of strong stuff indeed.

And, theres an old saying... "Behind every successful man, is a woman" We men rarely show our weaknesses to our world.. its all the Male ego thing. But a man needs his woman's support as much as she needs him. Only his woman will know him and his weaknesses. Only she will know is personal demons... all men have them, but no one shows it out. You need to get rather deep in to see all that. A woman does it effortlessly.. and Ladies, we just love the way you make us feel like Hercules. Or King Leonidas. Things like grabbing us when you're scared make us feel like a Spartan! Under every guy, theres a Warrior, and its upto the lady to bring it out. She's the only one who can anyways.

Because, once a woman's got a guys heart, he'll damn near do anything to keep her happy (As ol Chris Rock says, even to the point of forgetting his own needs and ambitions. Do see that video) and Woman, do give him credit.

Because, believe it or not, we guys do appreciate the stability and direction a level headed woman brings in our lives.

Because, Damn they're pretty!

Because, under all their layers of fragility, they're really the best part of us.

Because, all said and done... they're wonderful creatures, made by God when he was in a happy mood.

I'll sign this off with a rather unique picture

Cheers Mates!

[UP] Trancending Vice President

2006-07-10T06:12:00.000-07:00

[UP] Well mates, I suck. No excuses, no bullshit. Just truth. I'll say it again. I Suck.
College started, and I though they'll cut us final years some slack. Boy was I wrong..... I'm already juggling projects, seminars, tests, drawings(circuits, I'm BSc Electronics Science, remember?) , and somehow I'm managing to stuff in a few hours of orkuting :P

1 GB PenDrive: My father bough me a Trancend 1GB PenDrive. Man, this so rocks! Now I dont need to deal with damned floppies(That regularly break down and embarass me). In case you guys didnt know, I'm big-time into papaer presentations, Bascically, I choose a topic from a list of topics, and prepare a powerpoint presentation about it, and then give a speech about it. I've won quite a bit of prizes for this. Now that I can take this PenDrive, its all gonna be smoother.No more losing floppies and damaging the reputation of the KumaraRani Meena Muthiah College Of Arts And Science!

I'll upload the pics soon. As soon as I get my Mp3 Player cum Video Recorder cum Camera cum storage media.

Mp3 Player cum Video Recorder cum Camera cum storage media. Dad bought this cool thing from Richie street(The electronics hot spot in Chennai) . I wont elaborate, else this blog will become a novel. Its got a 1.3 MegaPixel camera, 512 MB of storage. Chinese Stuff, so its quality sucks. But its worth it. I've already made good use of it. I've made a music video using this sorry excuse of a camera, but its come off pretty well.

Out Of The Blues : My best friend, Siddarth, made a very nice song a few months ago. While
we were fooling around, I got an Idea of making a music video about it. Sam (as I call him) loved the idea, and here it is. next blog will be the " Making of an Amateur Video"

Heres the vid, enjoy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeZXrJLb8sM
Please leve me a comment or two. Its very appreciated.

Vice President : Last but nowhere near the least, I've been selected as the Vice President of my College's union. I feel very honoured to be selected, and I'll do my best to vindicate their faith in me. I could've made president, but its reserved for girls. Ah well, its a woman's world. We men are barbarians, after all.

This brings us to the end of this broadcast. Stay tuned for the next update, coming when someone makes me haul my heavy butt off the bike, and type. Ciao!

[UP] The Mysore Story, Days 6 & 7

2006-06-17T11:05:00.000-07:00

I recommend reading the posts in order of writing, i e Day 1, then 2, then 3 and so on till 7

Day 6: I remembered that I was supposed to pick up my father, and from that moment on, it was RUSH HOUR! I had a pit stop of sorts in Ashu's house for a Dosa, which pissed off Ashu's mom(" I made this with so much difficulty, and you have only one?"). I ripped off towards the station, worrying that I may be late, As I rolled in, I saw my father rolling out! talk about perfect timing! We went to my grandfather's place, where we were greeted my My Grandfather's younger brother, a lawyer with a passion for making Dosas. Cant really say no to him, so we had 2 more dosas. Pop wanted to pay a quick visit to all my relations, so we hopped on the bike and went on a whirlwind tour. At every place we went to, we were offered Dosas! something wrong with the world... All too soon, it was time to pack and leave Mysore.

We left in the evening, with me at the handlebars. We got to B'Lore in 2.5 hrs flat! Ripping is good for you :p

As usual, we spent the night in my Chickappa's place, and had Gobi Manchurian, again! Nothing more to report here, move along...

Day 7: We got up early, and retraced our way to Chennai. Even before we left banglore, our luggage flew off, and I was forced into acrobatics to hold it, and myself, form falling off. After repairing that, we went full blast. The bike performed so well,I was planning to get down on one knee and propose. Pah, who needs girls?

Reached Chennai after 7.5 hrs of travel. Total Distance covered = 1265 Km.

There, I'm done splitting it up, Happy Somy?

[UP] The Mysore Story, Day 5

2006-06-17T11:04:00.000-07:00

I recommend reading the posts in order of writing, i e Day 1, then 2, then 3 and so on till 7

Day 5: We had planned to climb the famous Chamundi Hill, But I slep assuming that it wouldnt work out. Imagine my surprise when it did work out. At around 7, both Ashu and Somy were present, and we set off. its lovely riding in the early morning, with the cool breeze running thru your scalp. Only when we reached Chamundi did the enormity of the climb struck me.... The hill was more like a mountain! Sending up a prayer, I started off. After briskly covering the first 100 steps, I was completely blown out.
"Dai Ashu, how much longer man? I'm pretty tired"
"well, we've covered 100 steps, just around 950 more to go"
"!!!!"
I almost fainted on hearing this, but my resolve to conquer the hill only increased.I then proceeded to make a complete fool of myself, resting after every 20 steps(Stop sniggering), with Ashu, Somy and D2 taunting me, when they werent laughing their asses off.I made the grave mistake of giving D2 my camera, and she took two snaps of me huffing and puffing my way up. Unfortunately, they developed very well, and are crystal clear in their insult to me.No outing would be complete without my customary imitation of Gabbar Singh, wich I performed with great gusto! On popular demand, that is, D2's, I imitated Kaho na Pyar hai, to widespread laughter of Ashu and Somy, and sulking of D2, who worships Hrithik.

After upteen breaks,I made it to the summit. In fact, I was the first one on top! Actually, I raced up the last few steps while the gang was courteously waiting for me. Oh well, All's fair in love and war.Me and D2 went in the temple, as Ashu and Somy hadnt had a bath. After our darshan, which took 30 min, we did a pradakshina of the temple, and took a few snaps.We then had a drink of flavoured milk, Thank god for Nandhini.

The climb down was a lot more enjoyable, as Gravity was our ally, and not our opponent. Me and Ashu decended slowly, talking about girls, as all guys do. I ran down the last few steps, thus claiming, amid much amusement, that I was the first to climb up and the first to decend!

Our stomachs growled for nourishment, and we went to this hotel called Nulpak. Pretty good food, which was marred by D2 cribbing anxiously about her results, which were due in a few days. We fooled around the rest of the day, and in the evening, went to Rathna atte's(My father's sister) place. We were joined my Nandhini, my second cousin(Kinda complicated, she's my father's sister's husbands' sister's daughter) and Vidya, another Second cousin. On popular demand(That is, D2's) we were forced to see Gangster, a movie in which Imraan Hashmi does the only thing he knows, that is, kiss the cute actresses. Man he seriously needs to improve. All he needs to do is to ask me tips. Here's my two word review of "Gangster"- KWAK THOO.

Me and Ashu were pretty disgusted, and we left the girls and went for a drive. We stopped under a moonlit sky and just chatted about life. That was a lovely experience. We returned after an hour of deep conversation, and rocked out on Worldspace Radio. Pretty awesome stuff. Soon joined my Somy, who had the sense to get disgusted by crappy movies. We slept off later.

[UP] The Mysore Story, Day 2, 3 & 4

2006-06-17T11:03:00.000-07:00

I recommend reading the posts in order of writing, i e Day 1, then 2, then 3 and so on till 7

Day 2 :The next morning, we were off pretty early, and the Mysore Highway was a thing of beauty.Except a few streches, that were pretty hard on the bottom, it was a wonderful journey.We went non-stop all the way, and arrived at my Grandfather's house in Mysore, after around two-an-a-half-hours on the road. The look on his face made the 9 hour journey worth it. He didnt recover even after we hugged and greeted him... and his first words were"Beyond all belief", with me and my father roaring with laughter. We proceeded to visit my pretty sizeable list of relatives in Mysore(All of whom were pretty surprised at the size of my trip), which finished only by evening. I dropped my Father off at the station that night, and saw him off.Spent the(first and only) night in my grandfather's place. 3 days of fun coming up!.

Day3: I got up around 7:30, and had dinner at the SRKVS. Its an amazing recidential school where my tatha served(and is still serving) for over 50 years. And thats no typo.I had breakfast(Idly) there and proceeded to Sowmya's place. She is my cousin, my father's sisters daughter. We soon met up with Ashwin(Another cousin, this one is a genius), and had lunch in a hotel called Rasooi Magic. Pretty ok fare. We then left for Araditha's(Fondly called D2, shes really cute, but her top floor is pretty much empty) home. We argued and counter argued for over an hour about what we'd do, and We ended up going to a theater called Sterling, and saw the Da Vinci Code(Muahahaha, since DVC is banned in Chennai). The most expensive ticket was like 35 bucks.... man I really should settle in Mysore.After the movie finished, we went to Pizza Hut, and ordered a "Treat for 4", 2 Pizzas, 4 soups, A pasta and garlic bread. The Pizzas and Garlic bread was awesome. The Soup was like soap water, and the pasta was worse than poison. At least poison doesent prolong the agony...
We watched a coupla movies(Thats all that we did majorly in the 3 days), Forrest Gump(Brilliant) and 36 China Town(Corny). Slept late, as was expected.

Day 4: Me and Ashwin decided to go to a gaming parlour, as both Sowmya and D2 were engaged for the day. We met Ashu's friends, and went to pelican. Very average computers, nothing like the monster machines we have in Chennai. I proceeded to thump them 4 on 1, and ended with a score of 35 (Me) -3(Them) , talk about Ownage! After that, we parted, as Ashu had some college work. I went to D2's place and we fooled around the whole day. Sowmya and Ashu were supposed to come, but somehow if didnt work out, and I slep in D2's place alone. man, I love her bath-tub, I hadnt been in one for years... I was floating aroundin the bath tub for almost an hour.
Dinner and Sleep. Good Night.

[UP] The Mysore Story, Day 1

2006-06-17T10:58:00.000-07:00

Because the previous blog, Mysore Bound, was real long, I've decided to split it up here.

I'm BACK! and I'm feeling on top of the world!I have not updated my blog for over 2 weeks, hope I make up for it now. A good, long ride is like a drug, and without any hangover too! Lets see.... whats next? ahh yes, the Ride Story.

Day 1- Got up early, round 0430(Thats new), and finished the usual stuff(Brushing, Bath, etc). Ma insisted to do a bit of aarti to the bike, to ward off mishaps, and I let her. We were off (Packing was done the previous evening)on the dot, at 0500 Hrs. We passed thru the city, via Porur, and found the National Highway pretty soon. After that, it was smooth sailing all the while. The Bike performed excellently, without a single cause for concern, except that it did not pull after reaching 105KMPH. We passed some lovely, scenic places, Green paddy fields, yellow fields, Sugarcane fields, Distant mountains, Lovely, smooth roads et al. We stopped in chitoor, about halfway to our destination, for breakfast. We Had Dosai at Hotel Nandhini, a place that served only Andhra type food. Soon, we were breathing fire, and gulping down water. My father has a curious kinda reaction to spicy food, he starts hiccoughing., and here, he promptly started. The hotrel was decent enough to provide us a visitors book, and we appreciated it(Coz I dont remember even the Taj giving us one, while we were there).

We hit the road again, and around 70km on, we made an unscheduled stop at the Mulbarg Hanuman temple . We spent an insightful 30-40 mins there. All too soon, we left the diety in our rear view mirror, and thumped on.

Our first signs of being close to Bangalore was the chill in the air and the gradual climb. At a distance we saw a suspension bridge, and therby entered Bangalore. We made our way across the crowded city, and reached the Mysore road. As we rolled into my uncle's house, the expression of my Aunt's face said it all.We spent the evening in the abode of my Cousin's place.

My little cousin, Smruthi, now in the 7th std, was scheduled to get a prize for being the topper in her class.All of us went up to the beautifully decorated stage, and cheered madly when she shyly made her way to the podium.Our hands were numb with clapping.Two other incidents stand out in my mind for that evening. One was the beautiful speech given by the Swamiji of the school, it left me tingling all over, which was a big deal, as I slept all the way thru Deve Gowda's speech.... wonder how that clown became the PM of our noble country. Another incident was when the school choir was singing "Kannadada Deepa(Kannada Lamp)" Pretty nice song. But what made it special was the huge oil lap they had kept near the stage catching fire and sending a 10 foot flare straight up. The poor kids in the choir just sorta clammed up...... lots of screaming mothers happened.... but it ended pretty well. To their credit, the school handled it very well. While coming back, me and Amshuman,(Smruthi's Elder brother) , went and had divine Gobi Manchurian. All hail the Mughals!

[UP]Mysore Bound

2006-06-11T05:45:00.000-07:00

I'm BACK! and I'm feeling on top of the world!I have not updated my blog for over 2 weeks, hope I make up for it now. A good, long ride is like a drug, and without any hangover too! Lets see.... whats next? ahh yes, the Ride Story.

Day 1- Got up early, round 0430(Thats new), and finished the usual stuff(Brushing, Bath, etc). Ma insisted to do a bit of aarti to the bike, to ward off mishaps, and I let her. We were off (Packing was done the previous evening)on the dot, at 0500 Hrs. We passed thru the city, via Porur, and found the National Highway pretty soon. After that, it was smooth sailing all the while. The Bike performed excellently, without a single cause for concern, except that it did not pull after reaching 105KMPH. We passed some lovely, scenic places, Green paddy fields, yellow fields, Sugarcane fields, Distant mountains, Lovely, smooth roads et al. We stopped in chitoor, about halfway to our destination, for breakfast. We Had Dosai at Hotel Nandhini, a place that served only Andhra type food. Soon, we were breathing fire, and gulping down water. My father has a curious kinda reaction to spicy food, he starts hiccoughing., and here, he promptly started. The hotrel was decent enough to provide us a visitors book, and we appreciated it(Coz I dont remember even the Taj giving us one, while we were there).

We hit the road again, and around 70km on, we made an unscheduled stop at the Mulbarg Hanuman temple . We spent an insightful 30-40 mins there. All too soon, we left the diety in our rear view mirror, and thumped on.

Our first signs of being close to Bangalore was the chill in the air and the gradual climb. At a distance we saw a suspension bridge, and therby entered Bangalore. We made our way across the crowded city, and reached the Mysore road. As we rolled into my uncle's house, the expression of my Aunt's face said it all.We spent the evening in the abode of my Cousin's place.

My little cousin, Smruthi, now in the 7th std, was scheduled to get a prize for being the topper in her class.All of us went up to the beautifully decorated stage, and cheered madly when she shyly made her way to the podium.Our hands were numb with clapping.Two other incidents stand out in my mind for that evening. One was the beautiful speech given by the Swamiji of the school, it left me tingling all over, which was a big deal, as I slept all the way thru Deve Gowda's speech.... wonder how that clown became the PM of out noble country. Another incident was when the school choir was singing "Kannadada Deepa(Kannada Lamp)" Pretty nice song. But what made it special was the huge oil lap they had kept near the stage catching fire and sending a 10 foot flare straight up. The poor kids in the choir just sorta clammed up...... lots of screaming mothers happened.... but it ended pretty well. To their credit, the school handled it very well.

Day 2 :The next morning, we were off pretty early, and the Mysore Highway was a thing of beauty.Except a few streches, that were pretty hard on the bottom, it was a wonderful journey.We went non-stop all the way, and arrived at my Grandfather's house in Mysore, after around two-an-a-half-hours on the road. The look on his face made the 9 hour journey worth it. He didnt recover even after we hugged and greeted him... and his first words were"Beyond all belief", with me and my father roaring with laughter. We proceeded to visit my pretty sizeable list of relatives in Mysore(All of whom were pretty surprised at the size of my trip), which finished only by evening. I dropped my Father off at the station that night, and saw him off.Spent the(first and only) night in my grandfather's place. 3 days of fun coming up!.

Day3: I got up around 7:30, and had dinner at the SRKVS. Its an amazing recidential school where my tatha served(and is still serving) for over 50 years. And thats no typo.I had breakfast(Idly) there and proceeded to Sowmya's place. She is my cousin, my father's sisters daughter. We soon met up with Ashwin(Another cousin, this one is a genius), and had lunch in a hotel called Rasooi Magic. Pretty ok fare. We then left for Araditha's(Fondly called D2, shes really cute, but her top floor is pretty much empty) home. We argued and counter argued for over an hour about what we'd do, and We ended up going to a theater called Sterling, and saw the Da Vinci Code(Muahahaha, since DVC is banned in Chennai). The most expensive ticket was like 35 bucks.... man I really should settle in Mysore.After the movie finished, we went to Pizza Hut, and ordered a "Treat for 4", 2 Pizzas, 4 soups, A pasta and garlic bread. The Pizzas and Garlic bread was awesome. The Soup was like soap water, and the pasta was worse than poison. At least poison doesent prolong the agony...
We watched a coupla movies(Thats all that we did majorly in the 3 days), Forrest Gump(Brilliant) and 36 China Town(Corny). Slept late, as was expected.

Day 4: Me and Ashwin decided to go to a gaming parlour, as both Sowmya and D2 were engaged for the day. We met Ashu's friends, and went to pelican. Very average computers, nothing like the monster machines we have in Chennai. I proceeded to thump them 4 on 1, and ended with a score of 35 (Me) -3(Them) , talk about Ownage! After that, we parted, as Ashu had some college work. I went to D2's place and we fooled around the whole day. Sowmya and Ashu were supposed to come, but somehow if didnt work out, and I slep in D2's place alone. man, I love her bath-tub, I hadnt been in one for years... I was floating aroundin the bath tub for almost an hour.
Dinner and Sleep. Good Night.

Day 5: We had planned to climb the famous Chamundi Hill, But I slep assuming that it wouldnt work out. Imagine my surprise when it did work out. At around 7, both Ashu and Somy were present, and we set off. its lovely riding in the early morning, with the cool breeze running thru your scalp. Only when we reached Chamundi did the enormity of the climb struck me.... The hill was more like a mountain! Sending up a prayer, I started off. After briskly covering the first 100 steps, I was completely blown out.
"Dai Ashu, how much longer man? I'm pretty tired"
"well, we've covered 100 steps, just around 950 more to go"
"!!!!"
I almost fainted on hearing this, but my resolve to conquer the hill only increased.I then proceeded to make a complete fool of myself, resting after every 20 steps(Stop sniggering), with Ashu, Somy and D2 taunting me, when they werent laughing their asses off.I made the grave mistake of giving D2 my camera, and she took two snaps of me huffing and puffing my way up. Unfortunately, they developed very well, and are crystal clear in their insult to me.

After upteen breaks,I made it to the summit. In fact, I was the first one on top! Actually, I raced up the last few steps while the gang was courteously waiting for me. Oh well, All's fair in love and war.Me and D2 went in the temple, as Ashu and Somy hadnt had a bath. After our darshan, which took 30 min, we did a pradakshina of the temple, and took a few snaps.We then had a drink of flavoured milk, Thank god for Nandhini.

The climb down was a lot more enjoyable, as Gravity was our ally, and not our opponent. Me and Ashu decended slowly, talking about girls, as all guys do. I ran down the last few steps, thus claiming, amid much amusement, that I was the first to climb up and the first to decend!

Our stomachs growled for nourishment, and we went to this hotel called Nulpak. Pretty good food, which was marred my D2 cribbing anxiously about her results, which were due in a few days. We fooled around the rest of the day, and in the evening, went to Rathna atte's(My father's sister) place. We were joined my Nandhini, my second cousin(Kinda complicated, she's my father's sister's husbands' sister's daughter) and Vidya, another Second cousin. On popular demand(That is, D2's) we were forced to see Gangster, a movie in which Imraan Hashmi does the only thing he knows, that is, kiss the cute actresses. Man he seriously needs to improve. All he needs to do is to ask me tips. Here's my two word review of "Gangster"- KWAK THOO.

Me and Ashu were pretty disgusted, and we left the girls and went for a drive. We stopped under a moonlit sky and just chatted about life. That was a lovely experience. We returned after an hour of deep conversation, and rocked out on Worldspace Radio. Pretty awesome stuff. Soon joined my Somy, who had the sence to get disgusted by crappy movies. We slept off later.

Day 6: I remembered that I was supposed to pick up my father, and from that moment on, it was RUSH HOUR! I had a pit stop of sorts in Ashu's house for a Dosa, which pissed off Ashu's mom(" I made this with so much difficulty, and you have only one?"). I ripped off towards the station, worrying that I may be late, As I rolled in, I saw my father rolling out! talk about perfect timing! We went to my grandfather's place, where we were greeted my My Grandfather's younger brother, a lawyer with a passion for making Dosas. Cant really say no to him, so we had 2 more dosas. Pop wanted to pay a quick visit to all my relations, so we hopped on the bike and went on a whirlwind tour. At every place we went to, we were offered Dosas! something wrong with the world... All too soon, it was time to pack and leave Mysore.

We left in the evening, with me at the handlebars. We got to B'Lore in 2.5 hrs flat! Ripping is good for you :p

As usual, we spent the night in my Chickappa's place, and had Gobi Manchurian, again! Nothing more to report here, move along...

Day 7: We got up early, and retraced our way to Chennai. Even before we left banglore, our luggage flew off, and I was forced into acrobatics to hold it, and myself, form falling off. After repairing that, we went full blast. The bike performed so well,I was planning to get down on one knee and propose. Pah, who needs girls?

Reached Chennai after 7.5 hrs of travel. Total Distance covered = 1265 Km.

Well, I'm done. Phew, that was hard work. Hope I get some comments for it.....

[UP] Hindu Pardy!

2006-06-04T03:46:00.000-07:00

Today, Arun, (A 6"something fella, but he's pretty much a softie) called me up today, and wanted to fool around, as he'd just finished his exam. Naturally, I agreed, and we ended up going to Adyar Anand Bhavan, a terrific, although pricey Sweetmeat shop. We were soon joined by Sundar and Shetty, 2 of Aruns friends, though just acquaintances for me. Usual banter, punctuated by chaat eating, proceeded. We soon parted ways, and then Arun came over to my place, and we fooled around a bit. The actual plan was for me to go over to Aruns house, where we'd watch a movie (Animated, of co[UP] Arun(One of my oldest pals, he's this big,urse). As we proposed, God prompty disposed, and that plan was scrapped. We decied to go to Fruit Shop, a hang out of sorts. So we went to fruit shop, me in my cruiser, and him in his Red Kinetic Nova. Man, he dwarfs his vehicle. We ordered our ususl Lime Mint Cooler, and chatted away. Then the door opened, and in came Sudarshan(Tall, lanky),Ajay(Silent Spectator),Guru(Gentlemanly fella),Siddarth(Good Humoured dude),Arun(another one, In singapore now),Ramakrishnan(babyfaced, the butt of our jokes),Narendran(Mr Nice Guy),Ravishankar(IItian, 'nuff said),Vishnu(Quick witted, thin) and Kapil(Short, fat, exceedingly brilliant)! the entire Hindu School gang! I went nuts, we all did. The next hour or so passed very soon, with us exchanging stories, cell numbers, and a whole lot more. man, it rocked! I laughed till I cried. As traditionally dictated, we pulled Ramki's leg, poor guy didnt know what hit him. We talked about Hindu School, our common bond. Lots on nostalgia, our love/hate relationship with VP, LOTS of VP incidents, man... what a fantastic evening. I got good wishes for my ride, and speaking of which, I need to get packing. I'll see you all later. Prolly will spend a week in Mysore. In the bottom pic, from Left to right, Sudarshan,Arun,Ramki,naren,Vishnu,Siddarth,Ravi,Guru,Kapil,Ajay, and Me.

[UP] Onward to Mysore

2006-06-03T00:07:00.000-07:00

I just finished my exams, AND my implant training, a double whammy if I ever saw one. In celebration....
I'm off to Mysore, ON THE FRIGGIN BIKE! an awesome 500 Km journey awaits me! and... the Indian fields, Highways, villages... man its gonna rock. I'll be leaving on Monday Morning. So I'll prolly be able to write up another blog.Pop will accompany me on the Chennai-Mysore trip though, sucks to that... but I'll do the return journey on my own. I've been a bit busy packing a torch,Swiss Army Knife, camera, batteries, books, clutch cable, accleration cable, spark plug.... man it goes on.

You cant really just jump on the bike and ride away. I've planned this for two weeks(When I was.... ahem... studying). Man, I've serviced the bike, biught spares, packed stuff, mapped, and a whole lot of other things. I'll be off now, wish me luck.

Orkut News: I met my old buddies, from Cochin, on orkut recently. man it just doesent seem to stop amazing me. Lets see if I can find my old crushes there.. ;)

[I/O] Pleasure!

2006-05-30T05:30:00.000-07:00

[I/O] For those of you who dont know me, I'm a die hard Biker, and the proud owner of a Royal Enfield Thunderbird. Pretty damned good bike. It just came in today after servicing, and looks so sexy that Its an effort to tear myself away from it. I got this from my club, the Madras Bulls. We'r bascically a gang of bikers, and thats it really. The following is a conversation between an "Esteem Driving Gentleman" and a fellow Biker, Enjoy!
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Then what is the pleasure?he asked quizzically.

I only smiled as he walked to his Esteem VX, got in and slowly drove off.

I'll tell you exactly what the pleasure is, Mr Esteem-Driving Gentleman.

The pleasure is when you finish your day's ride, and reach in one piece.
You're the smallest vehicle on the road, and you've survived.

The pleasure is when you take off your wristwatch, and see a band of
untanned skin.

The pleasure is when your motorcycle and you move as one single united
form. Whatever shape the road takes, whichever end of the compass it leads
to.

The pleasure is when you use your hands, arms, thighs, knees and feet to
steer.

The pleasure is when you take off your riding jacket for a break, and feel
the breeze dry your sweat.

The pleasure is when you sing to yourself on an empty road. You're the
world's best rock star.

The pleasure is when your rear wheel slides, and you bring it back, when
the front wheel lifts, and you take your time bringing it back.

The pleasure is when you cut through air, at 50 kph or 100.

The pleasure is when you reach a place you've never been before, and
someone you've never seen before asks you for a ride. And comes back
grinning.

The pleasure is when you wave to village kids, and they wave back.

The pleasure is when you almost, almost fall. But don't.

The pleasure is when you fight the wind, and win.

The pleasure is when you get up that narrow path for the view youâ€™ll never
forget.

The pleasure is when you view the world at an angle.

The pleasure is when you eat bugs at 90 kph.

The pleasure is when you look at a dust-streaked face in the mirror after a
500 km ride, and don't want to wash up.

The pleasure is when your pillion moves with you.

The pleasure is when your throttle hand has calluses.

The pleasure is when you stop to help push a stranded car to the side of
the road.

The pleasure is when you stop at the smallest of towns, and somebody asks
you technical specifications, or "Acha gaadi hai, per Kitna deta hai?"

The pleasure is when your book of roadmaps gets dog-eared, rain-splashed,
tea-stained.

The pleasure is when you give a stranger a lift.

The pleasure is when you leave four-wheeler traffic standing in a jam.

The pleasure is when you are'nt lulled by an air-conditioner.

The pleasure is when you are free. Open. Independent. Liberated.

The pleasure is when you are a biker. But you'll never know how that feels,
will you, Mr Esteem-Driving Gentleman?

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Those of you who are bikers, would have enjoyed this post more. anyway, thats it for today, I'll catch ya fellas later.

[UP} Appreciation Galore

2006-05-29T10:23:00.000-07:00

[UP] Just got off the phone with Siddarth. He's my pal from College. Nice fella, addicted to Maiden. He called to appreciate the previous post, wow, man , I'm feeling good about that. On to Sid, the dude kept pestering me about the girl in the story, but sorry man, you gotta find out yourself.

Man, I'm feelin real nice now. Amazing what a simple call can do to your mental status.I really dont understand why people cant be encouraging. man does it feel good! This one's for you Sid, Cheers!

Gotta go to sleep now... getting late. Good Nite, mateys!

BTW, if you can check out orkut. Pretty damned good stuff there. Holler me in orkut, I aint hard to find!

[LC]Love! Part 2

2006-05-28T22:45:00.000-07:00

[LC]Before you read this, I recommend reading the previous post.

Part 2, here goes.

Well, after I asked her, she... well.. she... arr forget it, I'll get to the point. She said NO. Naturally, I got all emo and all. But hey, thinking back on it. I'm glad she said no. She doesent Deserve me.
I was feeling pretty low though, so I decided to put my feelings into a story. So here it is. It may not me Shakespheare, but hey, it made me feel better. And of course, I changed her name.Har!

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The butterflies in my stomach feel like vultures, my hand is sweaty over a folded piece of paper. Outwardly, I'm all smiles, being the optimistic, happy me.But it is in these times that the loftiest nobleman becomes a hypocrite

I climbed up to her house, and my heart fell like a rock when I saw her mother coming with her.

"Hey Dude!"
"Hi" Shit, my nervousness must be showing
"Good Evening Aunty" Musnt forget manners
"Hello there Anir"
"Why dont you and Sheetal carry on? I'll come with Deepak" YES!
"No Aunty, its OK, I'll be glad to have you with us" LIAR
"No, you youngsters should go togather, go on, I'll catch up with you on the beach" YAY!
"C'mon Anir, lets go" God, love her voice

She seems to be in a good mood, will that improve my chances? or will she be too surprised ans say no?

She talks of irrelevant matters, but I respond willingly, passionately, as always.

My legs want me to run away, but overcoming that feeling, I thrust the paper in her hand. Acting polite and cool. But my BP is already in the danger levels.

She says nothing, and my words become a tiny bit louder in my anxiety.

"I always get speechless when guys propose to me"
"Well, that's better than slapping me"
"Dont be silly"

Whatever happened to my usually calm, rational mind? all I see is tatters.

My rational mind(which I'm proud of) says" Theres no way she'll say no. You are an outstanding student, you've been all over the state, giving lectures on obscure subjects. you have been appreciated by people of renown, you have been honoured beyond anyone in your college, how can anyone in their right mind possibly reject you?"

My irrational mind says "Girls dont care about that! Look at her face! She hates your pot belly, your round, bald, chubby head, you STINK!, why did you even consider this?"

"Well Anir..."
The moment of truth.
"You know... I like and respect you a lot" Going "I've gotten proposals from many great guys" Going " But I'm not ready for a relationship yet" Gone

Nothing clicks in my mind, but then , a thousand thoughts click at the same time.

From" What? I'm not good enough for you?" " You think this is a game?" to " Its ok, I expected that" Many more unpleasant thoughts race across my 140 IQ Brain.

"But we can still be friends you know..."
Dont women understand that it doesent work that way?
"Its alright man, dont worry about it"
"I'm sorry, I really am"
"Hey, Chill out, Its OK, it really is" NOT

Bolting up my feelings, I climb on my trusty cruiser, & ride to where I know my best friend will be. He knows all about it of course.His long hair, freckled face, and ever-present look of cheerful concern is there .

"So, how did it go?"

You'll be surprised at how the most mundane wods of a best friend squeeze your tears out. Sobbing my heart out, I said in a strangled voice..

"Is there something wrong with me?"
"Ahh, dont worry da, she's nuts to refuse you"
"Havent I been a decent fellow throughout my life?"
"You'll get someone better"
"Whats the point of being a gentleman, and Mr Nice guy, if no one values it?"
"She was too dumb for you anyway"
All I do is nod glumly. After pouring my heart to him, I feel a lot better.

He wisely avoids my questions.I know He's right, but it brings little comfort. I'm at a loss for words to appreciate what he's meant to me. He chose to support me, as a true friend would. In all these years of friendship, I've thpught to myself as the leader,and him as a sidekick.But now I realised, standing on the beach, with tears flowing out, that we are a team. Maybe he feels the same too.

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Well, thats it. This really happened to me, and I've removed quite a bit of dialogue, she goes on to say why she said no, apparently she's afraid and insecure about realtionships. so its not about me after all! Hope you people enjoyed that. please comment,. as this is my first story.Until Next time.... Like my best friend would say, "Chao"

[LC]Love! Part 1

2006-05-26T23:42:00.000-07:00

[LC] After lots of thought, I've decided to post up a love letter I wrote .Like all guys, i was afraid of rejection, so I decided a love letter would increase my chances. Here you go, Enjoy

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I write these words with a trembling hand, as it is most unusual for me to think with my heart. Please forgive my clumsiness, it is merely a sign of my inexperience. I write this letter because I'm shy, and in my nervousness I may make a fool of myself.I'm scared of losing not only your love, but your friendship as well.You may have guesssed where this is leading to, and you are right. You have taken my heart from me.

You may recall our conversation on sunday evening on the terrace.I felt something very special that day, but I chose to hide it, as I could not guess your thoughts. At this moment, words can only go so far in expressing my feelings for you.Only now do I understand those love songs, whose lyrics I always thought were rubbish.

I'm not going to persuade or manipulate you, Relations based on force, trickery and manipulation dont last.If you say yes, let is be from your heart. If you say no, let it be from your heart anyway.

I understand your fears of a relationship, and seeing your past, you are perfectly entitled to have your suspicions and fears.All I ask is a chance to prove myself. I think you have known me well enough to see that I deserve a chance.

If someone has already had a hold on your heart, do as your heart tells you.

I may be bald, fat,unathletic and unattractive, but I'm fun. I can gaurantee you'll never get bored in my company.Have you ever felt bored, dissappointed or demotivated with me around?

Guruji said" I love you, and I dont care if you love me or not"

I say the same.

I Belong to you,
Anir

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Some random trivia about that,

It was written during work. Yikes!

No, I'm not gonna say whos the girl. Find out yrself.

Three drafts were made before settling on this one.

On a finishing note, did she say yes? I'll let you think on that until next time.

[LC] Moonwalkin Baby!

2006-05-26T00:28:00.000-07:00

[About a week and a half ago] Woohoo! I finally learnt the Moonwalk! It really is easier than it looks. I recommend using socks on a smooth floor to get you started. Meh, if I, a 80kg+ fella can do it, so can you. Heres a site to get you started. Moonwalk NOW. Be warned that the site kinda overcomplicates the move.

System 101

2006-05-25T23:26:00.000-07:00

Got up late today, and instead of studying, finished ROOTS. Awesome book, highly recommended. The book was passed down to me by my father, who read it when he was in his 20s. More about the book later. Gotta go study now, I'll update this in the evening.

Also, I've devised a new system to help ya readers, and I'll put this before every post.

I/O- Impressions/Opinion (On relevant/irrelevant issues)
UP-Update -General life update.
LC-Life chronicle. Probably random trivia about my life.

Number 1

2006-05-25T09:29:00.000-07:00

Well, I've finally decided to join the blogging express. Lets see how this goes. Blog Created:21:57, with my father urging me to sleep early...