Anir's News Service

Random News and trivia about me. Just as a random shoutbox. I/O- Impressions/Opinion (On relevant/irrelevant issues) UP-Update -General life update. LC-Life chronicle. Probably random trivia about my life from the past. I do hope I'm not lazy in updating it.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

[I/O] Dravida Munnetra Korruptangal


Dear Mr Karunanidhi,


Congratulations! You have come into power, promising people Free land(At Government cost), TVs(At government cost, again) and rice at 2 Rupees a kilo. You promise freebies, when a decent leader will promise good governance, but then.. governence has never been important to you, has it?


You give yourself titles like Kalaignar, and celebrate your awesomeness by hoarding up pictures of yourself laughing like a jackass all over town... at Government expense. I wonder how many kilometers of roads might have been set up if you had spared a thought towards development.


You demolish a political opponent's headquaters for no legitimate reason, and give instructions to hush up the affair, so that no one can even know it happened. You dont encourage healthy debates... its your way or the highway.


Your daughter is caught on camera, inciting riots outside the magazine HQ that "insulted" your son. Tell me Mr Karunanidhi, does the concept of Freedom of expression, freedom of speech, and freedom of press apply to you? guess not. And what about justice? Your daughter is still free, and no one even pressed charges against her. Now she wants to ba a Rajya Sabha MP... speaking of which....


Your Party secretary goes on record saying " Isnt the fact that she is the daughter of a man who has dedicated his life to Tamil Nadu and the tamil people enoght to grant her membership of the Rajya Sabha?" Well done, Mr Party Secretary. By that illuminated idea, you have effectively distanced your party from anyone with a semblance of sanity. Whatever happened to the idea of merit? Our constitution says that everyone is equal... guess Mr Karunanidhi's Daughter is more equal than others... By that same damming concept, why dont you nominate Mr Azhagiri for Prime Minister? Seeing as he's Mr Karunanidhi's son, as well as charged in a murder case, would make him doubly suited to this noble seat. I'm sure Mr Azhagiri would take us to the heights of glory under his munificent leadership.

You spend crores of Government money for your mega birthday party, and organise a huge function celebrating 50 years of you being a legislature. Couldn't think of any other way to spend money besides celebrating yourself, right?

Your only goal is power. Why else would you not back Kalam? why else have you groomed your children into so called leaders when there are more capable people out there?

You make a commendable decision by introducing compulsory helmets. And then, when my faith in humanity was returning, you cancel it. Tell me Mr Karunanidhi, what kind of alcoholic beverage have you been drinking that makes you choose public convenience over lives of your own people? What the hell is more important? That a dude loses some hair and is under some discomfort for a few minutes a day, or that his two children lose their father, that a lady loses her husband, and that aged couple lose their only son?

You kick out Dayanidhi Maran, who was the only person in your government doing an exlemplary job.. he introduced cheap broadband. Then he boosted up that speed to a blazing 2MBPs, then he slashed STD/ISD charges and was in the process of giving free roaming... when ol Iron Ass kicked him out. I guess the amount of development done by Dayanidhi hurt Iron Ass's conscience. The man bought professionalism into Indian politics, and this man was given the boot by Karunanidhi.

Well Done Mr Karunanidhi, You have successfully hidden from your fanatical supporters your true guise... you are no more than an underworld don, who has terrorised the state and now control it with an wrinkled, iron fist.

No, you DONT get my vote.

Your not-so-well-wisher,
Anir


For more info, goto http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M._Karunanidhi



P. S

In case I suddenly dissappear, you know who to blame. :-P

Saturday, June 09, 2007

[I/O] The Elaine Syndrome

I got this pretty damned awesome forward from the wonderful, wonderful thing called the internet. Man, the net rocks so hard, Its surely proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy (Got that from the net too). On to the Elaine Syndrome.

Dear Women,

We guys are very simple, easy creatures. So please do not try to figure us out. The thing that screws up most relationships is that most women are afflicted by what I've termed as "The Elaine Syndrome" This consists of analysing (usually wrongly) the things we guys do. We dont take life seriously (though sometimes I do) and all the analysing women do just falls flat. It may be eerily accurate when analysing another girl, but NOT us ordinary guys.

This forward illustrates The Elaine Syndrome. Enjoy!

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Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine.

He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud:

"Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?" And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward ... I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to
keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: ... so that means it was... let's see.... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means ... lemme check the odometer ... Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed-even before I sensed it-that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a darn garbage
truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.

And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain
because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a darn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their ....

"Roger," Elaine says aloud.
"What?" says Roger, startled.
"Please don't
torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears.
"Maybe I should never have ... Oh my, I feel so ..." (She breaks
down, sobbing.)
"What?" says Roger.
"I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs.
"I mean,
I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse." "There's no horse?" says Roger.
"You think I'm a
fool, don't you?" Elaine says.
"No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the
correct answer.
"It's just that ... It's that I ... I need some time,"
Elaine says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he
can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
"Yes," he says. (Elaine, deeply moved, touches
his hand.)
"Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says.
"What way?"
says Roger.
"That way about time," says Elaine.
"Oh," says Roger. "Yes."

(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to
become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
"Thank you, Roger," she says.
"Thank you,"
says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted,
tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that
something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression,
and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?"

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I've seen in discovery channel that women are hardwired in their brain to instinctively know what people want, and how they feel. Thats why they seem to anticipate other people's needs and emotions. Apparenly evolution thought it fit to deny this ability to men. Thats why we guys don't get hints, and most of the time don't know what women are feeling, unless its women tell them directly. As a general rule of the thumb, for a guy, nothing is wrong unless and until his partner says it is. Of course, there are some uncannily perceptive guys out there who'll read your mind, but hell, I'm not one of em. Do do us a favour and be extremely clear on things, else you've a good chance of ending up as Elaine, unless you're already in that frame of mind permanently. Good luck on that :-)